Have any of you ever had a creative block?
Well, if you have... you'll know what I'm talking about!
This blog is a long time coming. I am sharing this in hopes to help other artists with creative blocks… I don’t know if my story will help, but it surely can’t hurt… and if I can help even one person, then it was well worth my time.
I started having my first creative block sometime back in May 2016! I feel that I am still battling it, although I am finally almost back to where I want to be… Creating with ease and getting into the zone as soon as I pick up that brush!
There were a few things driving the bus…
I began to feel like I was expected to paint the same thing over and over again. Turns out the demand of keeping up with galleries and clients wasn’t inspiring to me. My anxiety and depression took over and kept whispering in my ear that I was a one trick pony. Not only was I doubting my value as an artist, but even as a human being. I felt like if I weren’t an artist, who else was I going to be? The creative drive was not only gone, but it also felt like it was laughing in my face.
Alzheimers disease has become a part of my life. My Dad had passed away from it about five years ago, and now there are two more people in my life (that I love and adore) that have been struck with the disease. One of those people are actually younger than myself. So I started asking myself “If that were my diagnosis (at the age of 54) what would/should I change. My answer was blaring ; After about a dozen years of painting alone in my studio, I was tired of being alone. I would literally walk into the studio and turn right back around because I couldn’t bare the idea of spending another day alone, even if I was painting.
So really, the three contributing factors were;
*The desire to change my work up but the fear of lack of acceptance if I did.
- My battle with anxiety and depression
- Alzheimers hitting home once again
- Isolation
So what did I do to help myself through this block?
I went on an amazing art retreat to Ghost Ranch in New Mexico with my friend Kem. I tried taking a break from painting for the most part of the summer. I started knitting and pottery (because I am cranky pants if I am not creating). Nothing was really working. For a while there I was really digging the knitting… but the honeymoon wore off and reality set in. Nothing seemed to be working.
So….
I got my ass back into the studio. I started doing everything as opposite as I could to mix things up, to challenge myself, to put the romance back into the creative process.
I decided to leave my isolated home studio, and found a new home for my studio at Shady Lea Mill in North Kingstown RI. (15 minute drive from home)
I started painting again for ME! That was a big one. To paint and post my investigative work was intimidating to say the least. I posted images where I would get only about 5-10 thumbs ups. This was a drastic difference from my normal response. I began to fall in love again with the creative process. The chains that were shackling me began to drop from my wrists. I found myself again.
So there it is… the reason for my absence from social media… and life as I knew it!
That’s all for now. For more details, go to Jamie Markle’s Blog at:
https://jamiemarkle.com/blog
